Unsportsman-like apparel

I’m not much of a gambler, and I’m certainly not much of a poker player. In college, my friends and I would occasionally get together and play a few hands, and never for more than $5. I don’t think I ever won, but when you’re hanging out with your friends winning isn’t the point. I still watch poker on TV sometimes, late at night when I’m flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch. I find it mildly entertaining, mostly because these guys are playing for $2,000,000 pots and splashing around half a million dollars like it ain’t no thang.

But lately I’ve noticed a trend in poker that really kind of irks me. And remember, I’m not even a diehard fan–I’d say I’m barely a mild enthusiast. That trend is sunglasses. It’s all too common to see players at the table these days in a getup like this:

"I'm a sneaky poker ninja!"
“I’m a sneaky poker ninja!”

I know poker isn’t a sport, but it is a strategy game. Like chess. Part of that strategy is having a good grasp of statistics.  But the more important part of the strategy behind poker is your ability to read your opponents and bluff them if necessary (this is where I fail miserably). It would seem to me that someone dressed like the asshole pictured above is really taking the coward’s way out. And then there’s someone like “The Fossil Man” who takes it to a whole new level with glasses that have holographic eyes on them:

"They say the eyes are the windows into the soul..derp!"
Apparently the eyes are the windows into the derp.

I know there are no rules about stuff like this in the leagues (yet), but something about this just seems slimy to me. Weaselly. It’s an unfair advantage, changing the ability of the other players to read you in a game that relies exclusively upon that strategy. Plus it’s just distracting. People who dress like this are taking all of the challenge and skill out of poker. I hope that changes soon.

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One thought on “Unsportsman-like apparel

  1. Their dress has never really bothered me. I kind of find it amusing. It’s not like they can’t be beaten because no one can read them, and I don’t think it gives them an unfair advantage, but maybe gives them confidence, which can be used against them. The other players just need to adjust.

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