Today’s red flag phrase…

I’ve heard women say this before and I’ve definitely seen it on dating profiles: If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best!

Just what the fuck is this nonsense supposed to mean? That I should just put up with any and all irrational behavior if I want to get anything remotely positive out of the relationship? A woman who says this is basically advertising a rocky road ahead. Why would any man possibly be interested in that? I know that nobody is perfect and that every relationship has its ups and downs, but come on.

What I especially don’t get is that this is somehow an empowering phrase to women. If a man can’t handle your worst behavior, he doesn’t deserve you. What a ridiculous double standard. Can you imagine if some guy walked up to a woman and said, “I’m going to treat you like a total dick when we’re in public but like a princess in private.” What the fuck would a woman say to that? You can bet that women would be up in arms over the misogyny, and rightly so. But for some reason it’s perfectly okay for women to say something equivalent to this.

I just don’t get it. It’s like trying to give yourself carte blanche to be a horrible person, a get-out-of-jail-free card for behaving like an ass. Whatever happened to just trying to be a decent person?



7 thoughts on “Today’s red flag phrase…

  1. Although this guy is a big time conservative Christian blogger and posts some ridiculously obtuse blogs, this one was well written and is a good critique of the phrase you have also done well breaking down.
    The blog might be wear that meme comes from actually. lol

    By the way, I’ve been meaning to say more about your excellent economics post recently, but haven’t had time. It’s interesting stuff.

    1. Thanks for the link!

      I ended up taking that economics post down actually because it violated my “no politics” rule. But I’d still be interested to hear what you think about the subject 🙂

      1. I think the topic of income equality is an important ethical and economic problem. The fact that it had become politicized is not your fault! But edit on. I wanted to look at your econophysics link in more detail.

  2. I totally agree, man. When I read into the statement “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best!” here is what I get out of it:
    1. “I’m giving myself a license to be an asshole.”
    2. “I’m not wrong for being an asshole. You’re wrong for calling me out on it.”
    3. “Your tolerance of my assholeishness is an indicator of your love for me.”

    A+ dude.

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