Dear everyone with a newborn…

I don’t care that you had a baby. I repeat, I DO NOT CARE. Great, I’m happy that you’re happy, and I’m sure the baby is a great thing for you. The operative part of that sentence being for you, not for me.

I’m about this close (imagine my thumb and pointer finger a smidgen apart) from automatically de-friending (why isn’t this a legit word yet?!) any of my friends on Facebook who get or got knocked up. It seems like my entire news feed these days is just pictures of babies sleeping or comments like, “MY BABY SNEEZED FOR THE FIRST TIME OMG SO PRECIOUS <3!!”

Here’s an idea: PUT DOWN YOUR FUCKING IPHONE AND PICK UP YOUR DAMNED CHILD. It’s yours. Love it. It’s a baby, not a new pair of shoes.



6 thoughts on “Dear everyone with a newborn…

  1. I understand how you feel, but you have to remember that most people are simply too lazy to make facebook groups to show pictures to. Or put their pictures up on photobucket or something. Then they could just post the link on facebook. Many people have friends and family that do want to see those pictures and can’t be there. I know that when I have my first in 4 months I will be expected to share many photos. But I agree, some people just go too far. lol

    1. I can totally understand the need to show off the new baby to family and friends that can’t be there in person, and I agree that most people just don’t know how to do it appropriately.

      Congrats, by the way! πŸ™‚

      1. Thank you!

        You can also try posting more stories about how much kids cost to raise, and what a relationship killer it is. Maybe you can discourage a few people from having kids. πŸ™‚

  2. At the behest of my family, I created a FB account to “stay in touch” I lasted 3 days, then I was looking for the delete button. There are things I do not need to know about my family. I’d much rather see them at a rate of once every two or three years, than listen to all the stupid shit they are compelled to say on FB. It appears they are way more religious than I thought, way more conservative republican types than I thought, way more racist than I thought, way more disgusting, than I thought…it was like watching a really bad reality show. (is there such a thing as a good reality tv show?)

    I am officially done with social media, except for the blogging thing πŸ™‚ (Is blogging considered a type of social media?)

    1. I think it is a form of social media…but it’s probably a little more high-brow than Facebook.

      I don’t have any family on my Facebook page for similar reasons. Most of my family hails from the bible belt, so we rarely (if ever) see eye to eye on anything.

  3. Oh, and you are correct in your assessment. If people were half as concerned about the important things in their life as they are about social media likes, dislikes, and drama. They would probably lead much more satisfying, and way less shallow lives.

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