I don’t care that you had a baby. I repeat, I DO NOT CARE. Great, I’m happy that you’re happy, and I’m sure the baby is a great thing for you. The operative part of that sentence being for you, not for me.
I’m about this close (imagine my thumb and pointer finger a smidgen apart) from automatically de-friending (why isn’t this a legit word yet?!) any of my friends on Facebook who get or got knocked up. It seems like my entire news feed these days is just pictures of babies sleeping or comments like, “MY BABY SNEEZED FOR THE FIRST TIME OMG SO PRECIOUS <3!!”
Here’s an idea: PUT DOWN YOUR FUCKING IPHONE AND PICK UP YOUR DAMNED CHILD. It’s yours. Love it. It’s a baby, not a new pair of shoes.