Who has it easier?

I’d like to open this discussion up by asking this question of you, readers:

When it comes to relationships, who has more advantages–men or women?

Now, I realize that since I’m not a frog that can switch genders, my perspective is a little biased, but that’s why I’m opening this up to you all for your input. I would posit that when it comes to dating, relationships, and romance, women have the distinct advantage over men. And here’s my reasoning.

First of all, in our society gender roles are already set up give women most of the advantages. Courtship is primarily based around the male pursuing the female–not the other way around. This automatically means that the ball is always in the woman’s court, so to speak. Women are socially conditioned to expect that men will make 100% of the effort, and men are conditioned to follow accordingly.

In bars, how many men do you see buying drinks for women? OK, now how many women do you see buying drinks for men? I rest my case.

And then of course there’s sex. Regardless of the biological reality, women are socially indoctrinated to believe that all men are motivated and controlled by their sexual urges, and men are socially conditioned to believe that their life will be a constant battle of trying to convince women to sleep with them. In other words, the current paradigm is pussy = power. Women control sex, and therefore they dictate the relationship and everything around it.

My ultimate point is this: it seems that, at least the way we as a society have structured it, women have all of the power in the realm of dating and relationships. Women always have the choice. Any woman on any dating site or in any bar can walk out with whoever she wants, essentially, while a good 90% of men walk out alone. A woman can dump a man whenever and for whatever reason because there will always be another to fill the void. I’d be willing to bet that in 80% of all scenarios involving a man and woman the woman is the one doing the rejecting and the man is the one being rejected.

I know that when I think about the crap that I, as a man, would have to surmount in order to “date” in the conventional sense (or least to even meet a woman), I’m instantly disheartened before I even start. It’s an uphill battle that’s quite tiring, physically, emotionally, financially–the scales are out of whack.

What do you think internet world? Who, if anyone, has the advantages?

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3 thoughts on “Who has it easier?

  1. I tend to think that whoever desires the relationship more is under the power of the other person. That applies to traditional man/woman relationships as well as same-sex relationships. This desire is in turned determined by options. If you think the person you are with is the best possible option for you, that person will have more power over you. If you think you can do better, you’ll probably try, or at least somehow subtly remind your partner that you could do better thereby flexing your relational muscle over him/her.

  2. Very complicated. I don’t think either has a distinct advantage or power over the other. I’ve been on every side of this at one point or another, and I think a lot of women would say that as well. Part of it depends on the specific objectives of the man and women- are they looking for a dating relationship, marriage, sex, a father or mother for their children, or something else? Men are expected to pursue, so that’s an advantage that they have, but most women aren’t going to go out with any male that breathes. They initially have the power to reject, and they use that to their advantage. I think once a real relationship has begun, the male has more power because he’s trying to win over the woman, and if the woman likes the man, she goes along for the ride. But before the relationship has been solidified there’s no distinct advantage that I’ve been able to perceive. It also depends on the personalities involved. Some men are more aggressive, while others are less so. Ultimately I think too many variables exist to conclude one way or another.

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