This is a subject I’ve seen pop up a lot lately in the news and some of the blogs on here. “Shaming” is the act of denigrating or belittling someone because they are doing something deemed inappropriate. Slut shaming and fat shaming are two common examples. Feminists like to express rage over slut shaming in particular because they believe it to be an exercise of socially controlling someone’s sexuality.
Please do not misunderstand me: I am NOT anti-feminist or fattist or whatever, and those feminists are making legitimate claims. And while I’m all for pride in who you are and how you live your life, I’m about ready to give all these anti-shamers a big, fat “get the fuck over yourself.” This, to me, is just another branch on that giant political correctness tree, and quite frankly I think the whole PC movement has gone too far, and these anti-shamers are not exempt from that idea.
Folks, like it or not, you are going to meet people throughout your life who do not like you and who don’t always agree with you. This is a lesson that I learned back in grade school. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. If you dress or act like a slut and someone calls you out for it, who cares? They have a right to their opinions and you have a right to yours; shrug it off and move the fuck on. I got teased a lot in high school for being into some geeky things, but I didn’t hide under an umbrella of “nerd-shaming.” I simply stopped giving a fuck about what other people thought.
And that’s what I think bothers me the most about the PC movement and the shaming movement in particular–it assumes that everyone should share the same universal set of values–namely those of the “victim.” Sorry, folks, but that isn’t the way the real world works. There are people who think being a slut is wrong–and their ideas are perfectly legitimate. Just like your ideas about actually dressing or acting sexually provocative are perfectly legitimate. See, the entire idea of shaming is predicated upon some sort of universal definition of right and wrong. Except that right and wrong are completely relative. So in reality, the shamers and the anti-shamers are both simultaneously right and wrong.
Be who you are and be proud of it, but realize that there will always be people who do not like you or approve of your opinions or actions. Just also realize that that’s perfectly fine, and what other people think has no bearing on your value as a human being. Social norms are constantly evolving from generation to generation, so just give it time. But please, enough with force feeding people your own agenda or values.